Ok, so I realize it has almost been a whole month since I've written, and that is just ridiculous. My apologies to all. I flew back to NYC from Houston last night, and to save time and brain cells I'm just going to transpose what I journaled in transit:
I'm waiting at my gate for my flight "home" to NYC after a great day of sleeping late, playing catch w/ my dad and seeing The Polar Express w/ the fam. It's both good and difficult to leave on such a high note and there were definitely some tears shed. It's hard to go back--but not too hard. There is still work to be done, lives to touch and people to pray for. One day, maybe in a few months, a year, or even several years, it will be too hard to go back--and that's when I'll know my work is finished in NYC. But for now it's ok to cry a few tears for the nostalgia of a path I am not to take at this present moment.
I feel like my emotions were at hypersensitive levels this weekend, probably due to my intentional efforts in savoring every moment. Even the Christmas Eve service at Grace made me tear up. I think because Christmas really has a whole new meaning for me this year. I guess being in such a dark spiritually devoid place makes the existence of a "light of the world" that much more dear. It's funny how things are so much more prominent to our eyes when they are side by side with their complete contrast. Like last night, I didn't pay much notice to the full moon when it had already made an appearance in the late afternoon. But hours later I could not help but gaze as it broke through the deep black of the night--a "hole in the sky" as Uncle Jim would describe it.
So what I'm getting at is that I think the Lord functions in the same way. Against the hustle and bustle and routine of the middle class suburban lifestyle the concept of needing a savior becomes a bit blurred. Of course, it's in the literature at local Christian bookstores and in the words of the pastors on Sunday mornings and even on the radio or highway billboards. But then this mysterious phenomenon happens. When you actually go looking for it--this alleged "need for a savior" that everyone is speaking and writing of--it's nowhere to be found, at least in it's purest rawest form. And that is why I think the face of our Savior is so visible in the inner city, among the poorest and most helpless. They understand real need and are thus unafraid to kneel before a God they have never seen nor studied.
Dec 28, 2004
Dec 5, 2004
A "Rotic" Weekend
It's Sunday night, and I am feeling completely refreshed by my weekend of no obligations. Friday I bought myself a slice of pizza on the way home from work, did some laundry, ate a considerable amount of cookies and went to bed early...some may call that "lame." I call it perfect. Yesterday I went for a late morning run sporting my Texas A&M sweatshirt (secretly I'm hoping for the day someone whoops or honks the war hymn as I run by). Then I ran some errands and satisfied my craving for Chinese dumplings ( www.dumplingman.com ) which I devoured while watching a riveting episode "Soul Train" (gimmee a break, I only get about 10 channels and 5 aren't in english).
However, my favorite part of the day was discovering Southstreet Seaport. It's a street on the south tip of Manhattan that has a bunch of shops leading to the peer, and right now it's decorated for the holidays and there was Christmas music playing and cobblestone streets--for those few hours Iforgot that I was in New York City. It felt like I was in one of those old Christmas movies strolling through some quaint small town...a very rotic evening indeed. A girl I worked with at camp one summer said that she made up the word "rotic" because it was "romantic" without the "man"...and I find the word incredibly suiting for this particular occasion.
My day ended with a pleasant browse through the shelves at Barnes & Noble. Something about that place always brings a certain calm to my soul. I actually worked there the summer before college and during my Christmas breaks and have always said it was one of my favorite jobs. The distinctive new-book smell consistent with every store always makes it feel like home. Speaking of B&N, I developed a theory in recent months that if someone does not know what he wants to major in/do with his life, etc. he should go to Barnes & Noble and figure out what section he always naturally gravitates toward. For example, the "social sciences" and "African American" sections were always my favorite....long before I ever decided to major in Sociology, or even knew what it was for that matter. I, for one, think the theory is quite brilliant and practically flawless...there's a section for everyone. You're interested in Alchemy? Let me direct you to the New Age section. Women's Health? Science and Nature? Comedy? Folks, all I'm saying is that if you are looking for your place in this world, listening to the old Michael W. Smith song will only get you so far. You need look no further than your neighborhood Barnes & Noble bookstore!!
Today I did a whole lot of nothing: talked to Mom for a few hours, finished my book (Nickel and Dimed...a must read), spent way too much on grocieries, went to church and went to my friend Rachel's to meet her new French bulldog, Alfalfa. It was nice to have girl hangout time...I don't feel like I get enough of it here. There's always more to write, but there's also this thing tomorrow called work which is looming over my head at the moment and beckoning me to please get some sleep. So, I will get up and work my little heart out this week knowing that on Friday I'm headed for Texas sweet Texas!! On that note--g'night y'all.
However, my favorite part of the day was discovering Southstreet Seaport. It's a street on the south tip of Manhattan that has a bunch of shops leading to the peer, and right now it's decorated for the holidays and there was Christmas music playing and cobblestone streets--for those few hours Iforgot that I was in New York City. It felt like I was in one of those old Christmas movies strolling through some quaint small town...a very rotic evening indeed. A girl I worked with at camp one summer said that she made up the word "rotic" because it was "romantic" without the "man"...and I find the word incredibly suiting for this particular occasion.
My day ended with a pleasant browse through the shelves at Barnes & Noble. Something about that place always brings a certain calm to my soul. I actually worked there the summer before college and during my Christmas breaks and have always said it was one of my favorite jobs. The distinctive new-book smell consistent with every store always makes it feel like home. Speaking of B&N, I developed a theory in recent months that if someone does not know what he wants to major in/do with his life, etc. he should go to Barnes & Noble and figure out what section he always naturally gravitates toward. For example, the "social sciences" and "African American" sections were always my favorite....long before I ever decided to major in Sociology, or even knew what it was for that matter. I, for one, think the theory is quite brilliant and practically flawless...there's a section for everyone. You're interested in Alchemy? Let me direct you to the New Age section. Women's Health? Science and Nature? Comedy? Folks, all I'm saying is that if you are looking for your place in this world, listening to the old Michael W. Smith song will only get you so far. You need look no further than your neighborhood Barnes & Noble bookstore!!
Today I did a whole lot of nothing: talked to Mom for a few hours, finished my book (Nickel and Dimed...a must read), spent way too much on grocieries, went to church and went to my friend Rachel's to meet her new French bulldog, Alfalfa. It was nice to have girl hangout time...I don't feel like I get enough of it here. There's always more to write, but there's also this thing tomorrow called work which is looming over my head at the moment and beckoning me to please get some sleep. So, I will get up and work my little heart out this week knowing that on Friday I'm headed for Texas sweet Texas!! On that note--g'night y'all.
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