May 15, 2006

Next-Step Search: Day 1

Yesterday as I was running I was doing some thinking (because I try to focus on everything besides the actual fact that I'm running) and came up with this novel idea that I should blog my job-searching journey....mostly to hold myself accountable to actually making progress on a daily basis. Plus, I think it will be kind of fun. I'm calling it my next-step search because it sounds a little more all-encompassing, like the future's wide open....which it is.

First I must step back and explain why, from a spiritual perspective, this is a ripe time for me to be in the market for change, especially career related. I feel like my journal entry from May 5th articulates it best:
"So I've come to this conclusion that life is always going to be in some sort of state of "overwhelming"--because it's life...and there's always stuff going on and there will always be a million areas trying to be in perfect balance with each other but never quite making it. Just when you're physical health is coming together, your financial situation is falling apart. And just when you've mastered the art of budgeting, some relationship needs reconciling. You see what I mean? For as long as we live there will always be loose ends that have been sewn up, others that need to be tied and some right on the verge of unraveling.

This is precisely why the old Jennifer was in a constant state of feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and worried. Because I saw the reality but just couldn't accept it...

I have now progressed into the very liberating phase of acceptance....of myself and the state of the world. Perfection exists only in the one who defined it in the first place. So if something is to be redeemed to the state it was created for, that will only be through Him and no amount of my "trying", however relentless that may be."

So basically instead of proving myself (which is exhausting and a set-up for failure), I simply have to be myself...and trust that that's enough. Amazing what a little adjustment of perspective can do.

Ok, so back to the task at hand. Day 1 was awesome. I could really get used to this unemployment gig. Here's the rundown:

- Woke up early and got a personal tour of the New York Stock Exchange by my friend that works there. I got to go on the trading floor and meet some folks who apparently are "kind of a big deal" in the financial world. It was awesome.

- Got home and made myself a scrumptious brunch of scrambled eggs, salad, English muffin, strawberries, coffee and OJ....wow, that's a lot of food when you see it written down.

- read Psalm 108 and thanked God for lots of things....namely that his "love reaches to the heavens" even on my worst days.

- e-mailed about 5 job contacts and managed to set up 2 informational interviews for the week

- worked on the ole' May budget--realized I should probably not buy anything for the rest of the month.

- filled in on my friend's volleyball team

- money spent:
$2.19 (for one red pepper....that's ridiculous)
- epiphanies:
I think I would like to work for myself at some point in life.
I am good at phone conversation.
I am selfish.
My fundraising adeptness has surprised me (see AIDS Walk webpage)
The computer skills could use some work.