Orange Cats and Physics Profs

This is my cat Rudy:


He is quite adorable. Maybe even the most adorable cat ever. But all that cuteness can be deceiving. Let's see, in the past day he has managed to de-thread my new rug, knock over my trash can and break the full length mirror in my bedroom. He is a little terrorist/con artist in the making. Who would expect such evil from a face like that? He was found in a dumpster in the Bronx (aww..can you believe that?), so I think the street cat Rudy has been comin' on full force..

In other news, tonight I went to hear the author of this book speak at the Tenement Museum:

The subtitle reads:

"How we got from the company man, family dinners and Affluent Society to the Home Office, BlackBerry Moms, and Economic Anxiety."

So, being the Sociology major that I am, I naturally had to attend this event. That and the fact that my actual work very rarely requires that I think deeply about things I'm interested in...or really anything.

I met a nice old man there named Bernie. He's a retired NYU physics professor and apparently had never made it down to the Lower East Side after all these years. He treated me to a cup of coffee afterward (think grandfather figure, not dirty old man) and we talked about the book event and his family and he gave me some good wisdom about grad schools. It was really refreshing.

It is almost 1am, and I am going to hate myself in the morning. I pull this stunt pretty much every single night--promising that I'll make it to bed by 11, not following through and then wanting to kick mysel the next day at work. What's an inherent night owl to do?

Truth be told, I like staying up late because this is when I start to feel most alive. I've always had issues with anxiety, particularly in the mornings. It's kind of like that nervous/stressed feeling you get before taking a big test or going on an interview--except I feel that every day. I don't know if that's normal. Not that I care a whole lot about being "normal" (whatever that is), it just might be nice to know that someone else gets what I'm talking about. Usually a couple hours into my work day it starts to fade. And it's good knowing it will fade, but it can also get kind of exhausting going through the same emotional routine every morning.

I used to just pray that it would go away, and I wanted to just curl up in a ball until it did. But lately I've been trying to understand a bit more about what God has to say about weakness. Apparently, these sorts of things are actually strengths in His world. If only I could wrap my mind around that kind of truth. I'm trying...to learn how to look at my flaws, my burdens as gain, as acknowledgement that He is most strong when I am not. I look forward to keeping you posted on how that goes...