Today I had a cry...not a fake cry or a few tears, but a real cry. It was what I like to call an "I hate New York" day. I swear, sometimes I think I'm living in a freakin' foreign country with the lack of efficiency I encounter on a daily basis. (Now, to all my international friends out there, I am not degrading other countries. Efficiency's value is clearly subjective, but as an American I have come to embrace it as a beautiful thing.) I went to three different places today just trying to exchange some rolls of coins for bills, but to no avail. And of course the drug store doesn't even have a photo lab so your pictures have to be sent off and returned a week later. Not to mention that my local grocery store seems to be contstantly in the restocking process with piles of cardboard boxes taking up half of the already-crowded isles. And apparently using a credit card to purchase your groceries is a huge deal as the cashier yells out "tarjeta" and the guy manning the store's one and only credit card machine comes running as my total bill is being yelled across the store in spanish. So yeah, it's possible to experience culture shock in your own country....
Which brings me to my relatively new life as a social worker in the Bronx. I've always prided myself on the fact that I'm pretty non-judgmental and have a knack for making friends easily. But really it's not that hard when everyone around you is from basically the same background. You know I've been praying a lot for humility lately. I still can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that Jesus knew he was the savior of the entire world, that he was one with God and yet he lived in perfect humility, always treating others as better than himself. I don't get it. Two weeks at work has already challenged my perspective on so many levels. Between my co-workers and clients I am daily encountering people I have little to nothing in common with on so many levels (race, morality and politics to name a few). For one of the first times in my life I'm struggling with knowing how to love people. What do I have to offer to a gay black man with HIV? Or to a culture that feeds the cycle of unwed motherhood? I feel helpless most days.....which is exactly what God had in mind when I prayed for humility. These people need the love of Christ, but I'm just not sure how to give it to them. I'm reminded of an article by Sean Groves that I read in Relevant Magazine a few months ago:
"The modernists were right on one account...we do need to be relevant. Relevance is literally having importance or making a connection. And anything done in love--even if by the staunchest traditionalist--does just that. An invitation is always relevant to the lonely. Hope is always relevant to the depressed. A hot meal is relevant to the hungry. A free baby-sitter is relevant to a single mother needing a break. An hour is relevant to kids who can't read. A vote is relevant to the poor and oppressed. Love can make anyone--or any church--relevant."
Maybe the solution isn't as complicated as I think. Mend the surface and the real Healer will do His work.
2 comments:
Hey Jenn!
Hang in there girlfriend- it sounds like you know the answer to your question. I appreciate your honesty- I am dealing with the same thing but on a lesser scale in my classroom of kids with interesting parents. I have realized this year that teaching doesn't just involve the kids, but their parents as well.I am a teacher and a counselor for adults and children! Sometimes I wish that wasnt true, but it is a fact, and I should treat it as a priveledge that God has given me. There are sooo many problems, especially in my school that is low income with 95% of the kids on free or reduced lunch. God has taught me to try to work with the parents, meet them halfway if not more, and like you said, make it relevant. Hang in there, you are storing up treasures in heaven!
As for the lack of efficiency in one of the world's greatest cities- blame it on the yankees! by the way-did you hear that Melody left Grace and is know doing missions with MDPC? Isn't that great! I am excited for her. We are playing phone tag but trying to get together.
love monique
Jenn,
Ok, I must say that reading your words makes me miss your authentic beautiful you even more and also make me so excited for those Nyers who are going to be blessed by JP!! I think this job may just be material for your first novel. Your gifts of sharing and inspiring are just way too huge to keep to yourself...so thank you, dear sister and friend. Keep writing--your words seize my heart and spirit and are truly real!
I love you! I'm so blessed that you are making eternal differences everyday and bringing hope to so many with your actions of love and listening. Press on, and know that you are inspiring all of us to live out the purpose we are called to...
Much love to you always, Mel
ps. Hi to your friend P. Ditty Smearconmi !! ;)
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