A question people always seem to like asking is, "So, how long do you think you'll be in New York?" My answer: until I hear otherwise. I've realized how important it is to approach life as an investment. My parents, out of genuine concern for their daughter, like to remind me that if I discover I really don't like my job to just remember that it doesn't have to be long-term, and I do have the freedom to quit. But what's there to learn when we spend our whole lives running everytime we encounter a situation that's uncomfortable and new and makes us need something bigger than ourselves? I'll admit it's easy to live in this city with a very short-term mentality. For most, New York is their pilgrimage to Mecca....a necessary stop on the path to greatness. But what I know about myself is that I desire to make an impact and be changed in the process, to go throught the thick, thin, good, bad, and ugly of a situation and learn from it all.
My pastor in College Station always used to say that only two things in this world will last forever: the word of God and the souls of men. Such a simple truth challenges me every day of my life. The fact is I am absolutely confident that God's divine leading brought me to this city. And now it is my job to rise to the challenge and invest my every resource into what He has placed before me: co-workers, roomates, clients, church and always my relationship with Him.
Maybe our relentless questioning of the Lord's will--where we are to be and what we are to do--is really a selfish plea. Maybe we just get scared that we'll actually have to face the challenges of the present before God can allow us to move on. Maybe we will have to love people who are annoying or hurtful or completely misunderstand us--love them for everything that we aren't. Maybe we'll be forced to admit our own weakness, our own nauseating sin. And after that maybe we'll understand the beauty of relationship and learn to trust people more because really we're not that much different. And maybe at the peak of our humility we will no longer be questioning the Lord's will....we'll realize we're living it. And perhaps then He will see us fit for the higher places.
"Now it is required that those who have been given a trust prove faithful." - 1 Cor. 4:2
"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." - Habakkuk 3:19
Nov 28, 2004
Nov 20, 2004
Rainy Day Ramblings
Today I did two very socially responsible things (both involving my new checking account): 1) I ordered checks made on recycled paper and a portion of my money goes to some kind of wildlife fund 2) I signed up for a program where I earn points with my debit card and they'll donate money to my school of choice....so, of course I had to represent for Bryan, Texas and support Jane Long Middle school. And, being the high-roller social worker that I am, I'm sure to accrue enough points to award them a new spiral notebook....and maybe even a couple glue sticks (only if the Christmas bonus comes through). But hey, it's the thought that counts right?
So, enough about me saving the world. I've discovered this blog thing is hard to keep up with. It's a lot of pressure to come up with creative material on a daily, or even weekly basis. However, my dear friend Julie Whitaker rises to the challenge with mad skill and never ceases to add a good dose of humor, insight and creativity to my week. Experience the excitement at www.julesdwit.com And, speaking of the lovely Julie, she's coming to see me in NYC next week!!! As you can see, I can barely contain myself. So Jules (since I know you're a computer nerd and will read this within 5 minutes of it being posted) get those walkin' shoes ready!
Living here has made me realize things about myself that I would have never expected. As it turns out, I am both uptight and judgmental....who knew? Once upon a time I thought I was a pretty laid back individual--until I moved in with my cousin Kari. I am convinced that nothing phases her, from stolen wallets to messy rooms to running late to high prices, the girl is invincible. Next to her I am an uptight anal retentive neat freak....and I have to admit it's very humbling being forced to see myself in such a light. So, thank you Kari for teaching me what it really means to roll with the punches. Secondly, I really had myself convinced that I was open-minded until I started my job. Sometimes I want to scream at people and tell them how illogical and ignorant and selfish they're being. And then I catch myself and realize that, in having those thoughts, something in me really thinks I'm better...that I've made better decisions, or used my time more wisely or whatever the case may be. No matter how hard I try to justify my reactions the fact remains that I am an arrogant individual--not exactly something I want to shout from the rooftop.
I'll never forget a verse I came across in a Bible study by Dwight Edwards a few years back:
"In whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things." (Romans 2:1) The point Dwight makes is that "from God's viewpoint, whenever we judge a sin in someone else's life, there's sure to be a similar kind of sin in ours if we look hard enough." The fact is, we must reach a place where we are able to learn something from every single person that crosses our path.....the drug users, the uneducated and all the social misfits society has to offer. As the verse alludes to, we may very well see reflections of ourselves in these individuals. And, as irony would have it, I am humbled in my own arrogance.
So, enough about me saving the world. I've discovered this blog thing is hard to keep up with. It's a lot of pressure to come up with creative material on a daily, or even weekly basis. However, my dear friend Julie Whitaker rises to the challenge with mad skill and never ceases to add a good dose of humor, insight and creativity to my week. Experience the excitement at www.julesdwit.com And, speaking of the lovely Julie, she's coming to see me in NYC next week!!! As you can see, I can barely contain myself. So Jules (since I know you're a computer nerd and will read this within 5 minutes of it being posted) get those walkin' shoes ready!
Living here has made me realize things about myself that I would have never expected. As it turns out, I am both uptight and judgmental....who knew? Once upon a time I thought I was a pretty laid back individual--until I moved in with my cousin Kari. I am convinced that nothing phases her, from stolen wallets to messy rooms to running late to high prices, the girl is invincible. Next to her I am an uptight anal retentive neat freak....and I have to admit it's very humbling being forced to see myself in such a light. So, thank you Kari for teaching me what it really means to roll with the punches. Secondly, I really had myself convinced that I was open-minded until I started my job. Sometimes I want to scream at people and tell them how illogical and ignorant and selfish they're being. And then I catch myself and realize that, in having those thoughts, something in me really thinks I'm better...that I've made better decisions, or used my time more wisely or whatever the case may be. No matter how hard I try to justify my reactions the fact remains that I am an arrogant individual--not exactly something I want to shout from the rooftop.
I'll never forget a verse I came across in a Bible study by Dwight Edwards a few years back:
"In whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things." (Romans 2:1) The point Dwight makes is that "from God's viewpoint, whenever we judge a sin in someone else's life, there's sure to be a similar kind of sin in ours if we look hard enough." The fact is, we must reach a place where we are able to learn something from every single person that crosses our path.....the drug users, the uneducated and all the social misfits society has to offer. As the verse alludes to, we may very well see reflections of ourselves in these individuals. And, as irony would have it, I am humbled in my own arrogance.
Nov 6, 2004
On Relevance
Today I had a cry...not a fake cry or a few tears, but a real cry. It was what I like to call an "I hate New York" day. I swear, sometimes I think I'm living in a freakin' foreign country with the lack of efficiency I encounter on a daily basis. (Now, to all my international friends out there, I am not degrading other countries. Efficiency's value is clearly subjective, but as an American I have come to embrace it as a beautiful thing.) I went to three different places today just trying to exchange some rolls of coins for bills, but to no avail. And of course the drug store doesn't even have a photo lab so your pictures have to be sent off and returned a week later. Not to mention that my local grocery store seems to be contstantly in the restocking process with piles of cardboard boxes taking up half of the already-crowded isles. And apparently using a credit card to purchase your groceries is a huge deal as the cashier yells out "tarjeta" and the guy manning the store's one and only credit card machine comes running as my total bill is being yelled across the store in spanish. So yeah, it's possible to experience culture shock in your own country....
Which brings me to my relatively new life as a social worker in the Bronx. I've always prided myself on the fact that I'm pretty non-judgmental and have a knack for making friends easily. But really it's not that hard when everyone around you is from basically the same background. You know I've been praying a lot for humility lately. I still can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that Jesus knew he was the savior of the entire world, that he was one with God and yet he lived in perfect humility, always treating others as better than himself. I don't get it. Two weeks at work has already challenged my perspective on so many levels. Between my co-workers and clients I am daily encountering people I have little to nothing in common with on so many levels (race, morality and politics to name a few). For one of the first times in my life I'm struggling with knowing how to love people. What do I have to offer to a gay black man with HIV? Or to a culture that feeds the cycle of unwed motherhood? I feel helpless most days.....which is exactly what God had in mind when I prayed for humility. These people need the love of Christ, but I'm just not sure how to give it to them. I'm reminded of an article by Sean Groves that I read in Relevant Magazine a few months ago:
"The modernists were right on one account...we do need to be relevant. Relevance is literally having importance or making a connection. And anything done in love--even if by the staunchest traditionalist--does just that. An invitation is always relevant to the lonely. Hope is always relevant to the depressed. A hot meal is relevant to the hungry. A free baby-sitter is relevant to a single mother needing a break. An hour is relevant to kids who can't read. A vote is relevant to the poor and oppressed. Love can make anyone--or any church--relevant."
Maybe the solution isn't as complicated as I think. Mend the surface and the real Healer will do His work.
Which brings me to my relatively new life as a social worker in the Bronx. I've always prided myself on the fact that I'm pretty non-judgmental and have a knack for making friends easily. But really it's not that hard when everyone around you is from basically the same background. You know I've been praying a lot for humility lately. I still can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that Jesus knew he was the savior of the entire world, that he was one with God and yet he lived in perfect humility, always treating others as better than himself. I don't get it. Two weeks at work has already challenged my perspective on so many levels. Between my co-workers and clients I am daily encountering people I have little to nothing in common with on so many levels (race, morality and politics to name a few). For one of the first times in my life I'm struggling with knowing how to love people. What do I have to offer to a gay black man with HIV? Or to a culture that feeds the cycle of unwed motherhood? I feel helpless most days.....which is exactly what God had in mind when I prayed for humility. These people need the love of Christ, but I'm just not sure how to give it to them. I'm reminded of an article by Sean Groves that I read in Relevant Magazine a few months ago:
"The modernists were right on one account...we do need to be relevant. Relevance is literally having importance or making a connection. And anything done in love--even if by the staunchest traditionalist--does just that. An invitation is always relevant to the lonely. Hope is always relevant to the depressed. A hot meal is relevant to the hungry. A free baby-sitter is relevant to a single mother needing a break. An hour is relevant to kids who can't read. A vote is relevant to the poor and oppressed. Love can make anyone--or any church--relevant."
Maybe the solution isn't as complicated as I think. Mend the surface and the real Healer will do His work.
Nov 2, 2004
Quick Update...and more to come
Ok, I wish I had all kinds of time to write, but seeing as I have now entered into that mysterious entity called "the workforce" I actually have a bedtime (which was about 2 hours ago). I just wanted to let everyone know that first days of work are generally overwhelming, as I experienced last week. Thanks to everyone who gave me a call or e-mailed to make sure things were ok. They are definitely much better, and I really think I'm going to be challenged and stretched in this job....but in a good way. I couldn't have asked for a more suiting first job, and for that I give nothing but praise to the Lord. I've had all kinds of good stuff floating around this brain of mine, but you'll just have to keep you in suspense for now (I mean, that is a trademark of all famous authors). Sleep calls.....but stay tuned for some funky fresh material comin' your way.
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